So… Summer is happening.

Those of you who know me, know that I’m not exactly a big fan of summer. For a person born in Australia, I was definitely designed for cooler climates.

One of my many reasons for disliking summer is that it seems to be the season for major bogan movements. They come out, en-mass, walking about the streets trying their damnedest to put as much bare flesh on display as possible. I can’t help but view it as some primitive display — comparing the shape, definition, texture and overall hue of their soon-to-be cancer infested skin.

In the last two weeks I have seen skin in shades of orange and brown that I didn’t even know existed. The Crayola colouring sets I had as a child did not prepare me for this.

The heat also seems to give license to walk around in nothing but board shorts. And I’m not talking about at home, or a beach or, at a stretch, a park. I mean everywhere.

Believe it or not, I do not want to see near-naked dudes walking through a shopping centre. I don’t care if you are wearing an over-sized cap or carrying an Australian flag. Either put a shirt on, or get out of my site.

… I also hate short-shorts. Ladies, it makes it far too difficult to work effectively when you wear them.